How much would you be willing to pay for an insurance policy that would guarantee that you'd never relapse and that you'd remain nicotine-free for the remainder of your life?  Sorry but there is no way on earth to 100% guarantee that a former nicotine addict will not take that "one little puff" of new nicotine that leads to full-blown relapse.  Although there are few guarantees in life, there is a way to substantially enhance our chances of never taking another puff of nicotine, but how?"

Those who forget the past are destined to repeat it."  In no situation is this phrase more applicable than with drug relapse.  Personal relapse insurance is nothing more than a present gift of future memory.  Some day down the road temptation will come your way.  Imagine having to rely upon your memories of how to do high school algebra or complex math in order to prevail over the temptation to relapse.  Would you be successful in resisting or would relapse occur?  Thank God that we don't have to remember algebra in order to remain nicotine-free.  But, due to the way that our brains are conditioned to suppress the bad and negative in life, your once potent reasons for wanting to quit and being willing to endure chemical withdrawal may someday be akin to trying remember high school algebra, but why?

The mind is conditioned to remember and replay the good times not the bad.  It has to be that way.  Otherwise we'd each grow so depressed by constantly replaying all of life's trials and tribulations that facing a new day would be overwhelming.  A vivid picture of all the pain and hurt of all our yesterdays is a heavy burden to bear.  Why would an ex-smoker's mind want to vividly recall the frustrations, anxieties, worries, feelings of bondage, expense, countless trips to the store, or sense of worthlessness associated with continuing smoking and being unable to break free? Pack after pack, ashtray after ashtray, carton after carton, cough after cough, year upon year, we lived as slaves to a heartless drug that destroyed a bit more of our health with each new puff.  As a father who twice witnessed what the word "labor" really means, I can't help but believe that most women would only have one child if forced to vividly recall the true pain of childbirth.

If you haven't yet done so, please take the time to make a DETAILED list of all of the reasons that helped motivate you to quit smoking.  Sure you'll remember them today, but you will NOT likely to recall them in nearly as much detail a year or two from now, when you just may need them most.  Also, spend a few minutes during early chemical withdrawal to record a brief yet detailed description of what the challenge of quitting was like, in all its full-blown glory.  What were the craves like?  How did they make you feel?  How did you react to them?  What did you do to cope?  What symptoms did you experience?  How did you react and interact with the world around you?  Would you like to go through the experience again?  Why not? 

We remember good times, not bad.  Smoking while sick, the colds, craves, declining health, worry, wheezing, shortness of breath, coughs, fights with loved ones, the burn holes, ash, oil, running-out, stress, standing alone outside in bad weather, or even foul odors are not things that our mind wants to try and remember.  We relish and replay our good memories, while suppressing and forgetting the bad. Relapse occurs because ex-smokers forget the motivational reasons that compelled them to quit in the first place.  Relapse occurs because ex-smokers forget the true challenges posed during early withdrawal!  The mind forgets while ink on paper does not.

Every now and then we see a post on Freedom's message boards in which a member who has quit for more than a month will tell us that they've had a terrible day and have been experiencing craves.  But in the very next paragraph they will say that things are much better now and that they rarely have any craves.  Which is it?  Are they having craves or aren't they?  Is it still bad or are things getting better?  The truth is that most simply are not sure exactly what they are feeling.  The truth is that by the second month most of us have forgotten the true intensity of "Day 3" or "Day 4," and have no point of reference to describe or catalog what our minds are now experiencing.

Often the quitter in their second month isn't experiencing subconscious crave episodes but fixating on conscious "thoughts"s of smoking.  "  Memory generated thoughts and trigger generated crave anxiety attacks are two different animals.  "In my mind I thought about having a cigarette today and the thought was so vivid that I could almost taste it" - versus - "I encountered another powerful crave trigger today that caused my body to shudder, and generated two minutes of substantial anxiety that caused my mind to grow cloudy, I craved to the point of hurt, began sweating, became irritable, restless, frustrated, and briefly wanted to climb the wall!"  Just like the thought of buttered lobster or a hot apple pie that is so vivid that you can almost taste it, a "thought" doesn't harm us and if we want, we can be push it out of our minds almost as quickly as it arrived.  It may sound like semantics but during recovery a passing "thought" really isn't a "crave" any more than a stiff breeze can be considered a hurricane. But if the mind no longer recalls what the hurricane was like, it has no point of reference and can very easily get lost or confused. 

The way to stay free isn't by forgetting all our memories of having smoked.  Just the opposite!  It's in avoiding relapse by accurately documenting why we smoked, why we were willing to endure withdrawal, and what withdrawal was like.  Picture yourself sitting in front of a plant for weeks on end and watching it grow.  It isn't uncommon for a quitter to forget much of the detail associated with their first week of quitting within just a couple of weeks.  In the mind it can all run together.  You may still be having craves but by comparison they'll be fewer, further between and weaker in intensity.  If you have no means of comparing - like not having any medical records during a hospital stay - you won't be able to develop an accurate picture of your true progress to date.  Your mind may falsely begin to believe that things are simply not improving.  You may begin growing impatient.  Small doubts can begin infecting your mind.  Soon you may hear that doubting voice inside your mind saying "It isn't worth it," "this will never end," "it's not getting easier," "I can't go on."   The next step is fatal.  It's where the junkie mind rewrites the law of addiction to state that, "They're wrong!  I can handle one little itty bitty nico-fix!"

If we treasure our new life and this wonderful gift that we've worked so hard to give to ourselves, it makes sense to take the time now to protect it.  Write a loving letter to yourself that will serve as a solid motivator and reminder of why you must endure the next few minutes. Make sure you put your words of "insurance against relapse" in a place where you can quickly find them. Make more than one copy.  Leave one in the glove compartment of the car, one in the desk at work, one in the kitchen and one in your purse or wallet.  Last but not least, make yourself a promise to read each and every word that you've written before picking up any nicotine delivery device and putting nicotine into your clean and healing body.  Don't allow yourself to get so far into the forest that the trees all look the same and discouragement begins filling your mind as you falsely start believing that your recovery has grinded to a halt.  Take the time now to create a free map and compass so that you'll always know exactly where you are. The next few minutes will always be doable and there's only one rule - no nicotine today, Never Take Another Puff!Breathe deep, hug hard, live long!

John R. Polito
Nicotine Cessation Counselor